Dear Derby Girl The Magazine

It is officall, DEAR DERBY GIRL the Magazine is in the publishing process!
Thank you ThunderMuffin for your injury report. Grrrl Haggard has the bout review all sewn up, and Connielingus, I expect some pictures from you!
I plan to be finished by Blood and Thunder Training Camp this Feb. in San Diego.

Anyone else who would like to submit derby related junk or gold, let me know.
Loving the title "Editor",
-Guts

PS
E Wheels, you are one bad ass Sumo wrestler!

OK BIZNITCHES

Also a rad practice tonight.

Joey wanted to see us bout, and Joey saw us bout. Cheers to HONEY HEX who is a driving force in practice bouting, and has the wherewithall to sell our junk out of theback of her Volvo. And is, in Joeys words, is "parallel and smooth looking."

DAMANDA TENSION is back!!! And fucking badder than ever. Damn that girl has some power.

That's all I got in me tonight.

I LOVE THIS GAME.

-Guts

Bitches got it sewn up

I sleep very little, and I do band research online for a living so my computer is on in the wee hours. What I am trying to say is; I like to take breaks and write stuff for MY OWN amusement once in awhile, so here you rollerwhores go.........

1. I am usually camera shy and feel stupid and slightly embarrassed for all of the pictures I have been getting in the paper. Next time a photographer shows up, I will send them MILLER TIME'S way, so they can doccument her leg warmers and non existent panty line.

2.The pack drills ANYA THE BUNNY SLAYER and SISSY JR. have been leading kick some skinny white girl ass. Thanks guys. Even though we barely know our asses from holes in the ground about rules and positions, (Except for fucking DAY O' WRECKONING who has the whole rule book sewn up!).it was fun and a learning experience.

By the way, I consider this to be some off duty shit writing and I'm not going to double check, spell check, edit, or even read over what I have written because I am on break. and frankly I kind of hope no one reads this.

3.AMBRAT....I clocked you and gave you the hot ear and I didn't even know it. I suck. I get caught up and all excited. But,.....I consider you a first rate blocker. I think you know how to use your attitude well. First round draft pick for sure!

4.Everyone should give LIZZIE and LAURA a pat on the back for being so fucking rad and staying for the league practice!

OK, Rollerwhores, love you all so goddammed much.



-Guts

Vegas + Debauchery + Derby = Rollercon

The bleeding nostril membranes, hangovers and shitty strip food was all worth the experience. The excitement that was Rollercon 2007 was a life changing event...

Being, I believe, the second newest league, Humboldt really showed their colors to the rest of the Derby community. Not only did we get about a dozen of our girls to attend, We placed in every contest that we entered....

Shameless...1st place color Tattoo

ConnieLingus...HM B&W Tattoo

Madame X...1st place Retro Contest

The rest of us...3rd place Scavenger Hunt

And we all got a schooling in the on skates training thanks to Bonnie D. Stroir, Coach Pauly and Muffin.

We also got our league name on the side of a double decker bus. How is that for props?

During the scavenger hunt we braved the strip on skates scaring old ladies and young children alike. Shenanigans included dancing in the New York New York fountain, Skating on trams, pole dancing, Elvis hugging, Security guard riding and sitting in a cop car. All this, and then we crashed a Trekkie convention and swapped clothing with a gay Trekkie dressed as a Vulcan.

Next year we're taking 1st in the hunt. I think we should also bout Redding at the Fremont st. track. If they show up, that is. I'd be scared of us too.

Humboldt Roller Derby

Watch out surrounding area derby girls (that's you Sonoma, Chico, Redding) .....These mean bitches have been hiding behind the Redwood Curtain honing their skills and forming their plan of attack. Guerra N. Teed will burn holes into the top of your head with her eyes while RaqHell loosens up your hardware (and steals your wallet).

Also Comin'to Getcha: Elysian Wheels, Haute Sauce, Madame X, Sissy Jr., Guts&Gloria, Dora The Destroya. And there are more where those came from.

Roller Derby is for Hard Ass Bitches

Tonight Haute Sauce was punched in the eye by the rink. Jenneral, Tits Vicious and MoneyCuz are out for the count...Scar E. Night and Ass Paddle are working through some junk and modifying their practices to suit their needs. We all apreciate your commitment, girls. I am glad that you haven't let flesh wounds deter you from your love of Derby.